Don't be a Dick*

Being a bit of a geek, it shouldn't be surprising that I adhere to Wheaton's Law.  For those that aren't familiar with this little bit of memedom, Wil Wheaton (of Star Trek: TNG fame) in his keynote speech at the Penny Arcade Expo (PAX) in 2007, stressed the importance of sportsmanship, in this case referring to online gaming.  It culminated into one phrase: "don't be a dick".  Not surprisingly, this little idiom has taken on a life of it's own;  Wil's Birthday, July 29, is now "Don't be a Dick Day".  It's premise is pretty simple;  don't be a dick.  In the last little while, quite a few things have come across my path that have me saying "what a dick!" and wishing that people would start applying Wheaton's Law to and in the disability community.

Wheaton's Law.  There are shirts.

For example, service animals are becoming more common and being used for many different things these days.  However, you would be surprised at the amount of discrimination that still occurs.  This story happened a few years ago in Toronto, where a medal winning athlete was denied entry into a gas station due to her seeing-eye dog.   Not all service dogs are German Shepherds or Labrador retrievers or even seeing-eye dogs for that matter;  my friend M. has a service dog, a darling pile of fluff named Edgar.  He is a miniature Yorkshire terrier and helps her with her symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Edgar is fully certified and although he doesn't wear a vest (he is too small), M. carries all his certification with her everywhere that they go.

The other day, she went into a nail salon/spa that she had frequented for years.  While lying quietly on a table for a facial treatment, she was accosted by a very hostile and threatening woman.  The woman bent down to speak to M. face to face and loudly objected to Edgar's presence stating that he "would get the place shut down by the health department".  My friend, once she had regained her composure (and been able to stave off symptoms, thanks to Edgar's intervention), attempted to explain her service dog's role to the woman, even going so far as to pull out his documentation. M attempted to show his certification again a few minutes later and was greeted with more ignorance, conversation bordering on verbal abuse and most sad of all, silence from the shop's owners.

My friend will never go there again.  What was once a place of peace, comfort and happy memories for her and her daughters is no longer "safe" (for her or Edgar).  It pains me to hear this as this is not the first time that this has happened to her.  This year even.  M. has been humiliated by people demanding to know her reason for her PTSD and what service Edgar could possibly provide.  My friend is not about to discuss the horrific physical, mental and sexual abuse that she endured at the hands of her own parents, especially to complete strangers. Yet, people feel they have the right to ask this of her, despite the documentation.

So, when it comes to service animals, don't be a dick.  Not every service animal is a large dog or even a dog, for that matter (I have seen pot bellied pigs and small horses as well).  You do not have the right to demand an explanation other than the animal's certification.  You also don't get to pass judgement on what you believe is a proper application of such an animal.  Not every disability is visible as well;  what may not be apparent to you may be quite debilitating to another.

I don't consider myself to be a "mommy blogger" (although I do know quite a few successful ones).  I'm not confident enough to consider myself a writer, so I tend to refer to myself as just a blogger.  Before the twins, I was was happy to prattle on about my garden and random things that popped up in my life [read:  a forum to entertain my family and friends and show my photography]. That changed with Wyatt's prenatal diagnosis and the writing that came out of that which would eventually became Down Wit Dat.  As I found out new things, I shared them with my family and friends.  That group has grown over time;  I've never claimed to be an expert.  I'm just another advocate (and not a "mommy advocate" either).

In my travels, I talk to a lot of other bloggers.  Some are very successful, some are commercial and do this for money or promotion, some blog for advocacy and some just do it for a love of writing.  There's a degree of camaraderie, sure, but at least in the "disability communities", there is a lot of animosity as well.  We all have a voice, we all have struggles.  We all have learning needs and different personalities and let's face it, I for one am not everyone's cup of tea.  However, there's this trend to discourage and disparage "younger" (less experienced, with younger aged children) bloggers and advocates and it's kinda disturbing.  I'm hearing "too angry" and "too young" and "too inexperienced" and "too disrespectful" and a whole other bunch of wacky stuff.  I can't speak for anyone other than myself, but "too angry"  is not exactly what is happening over here at the Logan Homestead.  Even when I'm being particularly passionate about something, I'm hardly angry to the point of uncontrollably shaking my fist to the sky (I have been accused of that one, actually). I don't have the energy for that level of unbridled emotion, frankly.

Besides, I'm Canadian.  We don't do a lot of that here.  We're more apt to write a polite letter to our riding's Member of Parliament, to ask them to consider submitting a well thought out and sober article of legislation.  When it comes to the blogosphere, we all have something to offer, even if we all don't agree.  I for one, want to hear the experiences of those that have gone before.  I want to hear what went right and what went wrong.  Not so that I can tell you that I think you did things incorrectly, but so that I can learn from it and make my son's experience better (and improve it even more for the kids that come after him). 

So, bloggers ("Mommy" or otherwise), don't be dicks.  Personal struggle is not a contest.  No one wins in the end for time served. There is no "rank", this is not the military.  I may not know exactly what year 15 looks like with a child with DS, but I do know what I want it to look like.  You probably don't know what it is like with twins where only one of them has DS, either... just as I don't know what it is like to be an adoptive parent or a same-sex parent or any other kind of parent other than myself.  We're all trying to make a world that accepts those that are different than most as a matter of course.  When we waste our energy on each other needlessly, we just look like, well, a bunch of dicks.

My last stop on this "Don't be a dick" train is person first language.  I'm a big believer in PFL and have been since I encountered it in 1995 in one of my nursing classes.  It's not rocket science:  people are more than their conditions.  Mr Smith may have schizophrenia but he is more than simply "a schizophrenic".  Such reference is dehumanizing.  Calling my son a "Downs" or "Downy" or any other permutation, other than "he has Down syndrome" is dehumanizing.  

The exception to this lies with the self advocate.  Through the words of a few bloggers in the autism community that I respect greatly, I have gained an understanding into the continued use of "autistic" as opposed to "person with autism".  As it was explained to me, by a person who is autistic, it wires a person different;  to remove the processing disorder would remove a great part of the self.  Although I would like to disagree in theory, I respect their opinion.  Those possessing the characteristics in question get to determine the language used to describe those characteristics.

Comparing Down syndrome to ASD is like comparing apples and pelicans anyway. 

The current consensus of the self advocates in the Down syndrome community is to use person first language and it is to that I will defer.  So please, don't be a dick.  Down syndrome is not an adjective.  The words you choose to describe people shape the perceptions of those around you.  We cannot create a world where differences are accepted and even celebrated if we denigrate people through the words we use to describe them.  It's not a matter of your "rights" to "free speech", it's a matter of recognizing another's humanity.

So there you have it.  When it comes to the world of "disability", invoke Wheaton's Law.  Don't be a dick.  Make every day "don't be a dick day".

Speaking as a someone who loves someone with a learning disorder, we already have enough of that to deal with.

------
*Unless your name is Richard.

[Originally appeared on Down Wit Dat]  

Call to Action: Va. Lt. Governor Candidate E. W. Jackson

According to his book, Ten Commandments to an Extraordinary Life, the Republican candidate for Lt. Governor in VA, E.W. Jackson, believes that "birth defects" are the result of sin. 

"It is the principle of sin, rebellion against God and His truth which has brought about birth defects and other destructive natural occurrences."

After centuries of ignorance, we're still battling for basic human dignity.

Tell E.W. Jackson that genetic diversity is not the result of sin.

EMAIL
info@jacksonforlg.com

FOR MEDIA INQUIRIES
press@jacksonforlg.com

ADDRESS
P.O.Box 15003
Chesapeake, VA 23328

PHONE
757-802-4246

TWITTER: @Jackson4VA

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/jacksonforlg

An Open Letter to Congressman Van Hollen regarding the Robert Ethan Saylor Case

May 7, 2013

Dear Congressman Van Hollen,

The Down Syndrome Collective, a group of over 2,000 advocates for the full inclusion and human rights of people with Down syndrome, urges you to secure an independent investigation into Robert Ethan Saylor's homicide. Nearly 4 months ago, Robert Ethan Saylor died at the hands of off-duty Frederick County Sheriff's deputies Lt. Scott Jewell, Sgt. Rich Rochford and Deputy First Class James Harris. The local law enforcement community in Frederick has not brought justice to the Saylor family. 

The refusal of the local State’s Attorney, Charlie Smith, to prosecute this homicide—instead using the veil of grand jury proceedings—gives rise to the unfortunate appearance of local law enforcement protecting its own. Smith’s statement following the grand jury hearing demonstrates his eagerness to adopt a narrative exonerating his law enforcement colleagues at the expense of a young homicide victim. By inaccurately stating that Saylor was "compromised by his Down's Syndrome [sic]," Smith has shifted the blame for Saylor's death onto his genetic condition rather than the improper restraint technique employed against him. Saylor was left face down and died of positional asphyxia, a known risk to all people. Most importantly, it remains unclear why Saylor was restrained at all over the cost of a movie ticket. 

Almost exactly two years ago, you honored the 20th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act, acknowledging the need for such legislation because “Americans with disabilities were too often denied the opportunity to fully participate and integrate into our society due to intolerance and unfair stereotypes.” Allowing blame for Saylor's death to be falsely placed on his genetic condition is an example of the same intolerance and unfair stereotyping you denounced. Only an independent investigation can reaffirm Saylor's equal rights as a human being.

Underscoring the need for an independent investigation is the revelation by local media that Saylor suffered a fracture to his throat, with bruising indicating he was still alive at the time of the injury. The article goes on to report, “Experts say it's hard to know how it happened without an investigative report to show what came into contact with Saylor's throat.” Therefore, an independent investigation is the first step towards ensuring justice for the Saylor family.

We ask you to hold the Frederick County law enforcement community to a higher standard of conduct. Without your action, an unarmed man will have died in Maryland's 8th district over the price of a movie ticket without so much as a meaningful investigation. Please reaffirm the right of every person in Maryland to live. Help secure an impartial investigation into Robert Ethan Saylor’s homicide.

Sincerely, 

The Down Syndrome Collective

Down Syndrome Uprising's Advocacy Blog Symposium

Before work, after the dishes, in the doctor's office, when the kids are sleeping, at the hospital, hiding in the linen closet, at a traffic stop - What Does Your Ever Day Advocacy Look Like?

Do you change laws, minds, or the world?
 
Advocacy and activism mean different things to different people. For two weeks, Down Syndrome Uprising will be holding a blog symposium to celebrate everyday advocacy in all its forms.

Add your Down syndrome advocacy posts to the "linky" below and read some excellent posts from all over the world.

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A Step Backwards for Down syndrome Advocacy

I've been out of the loop for a bit.  As most of you know, recently my son had open heart surgery to repair his AVSD.  I haven't been around in the online scene as of late which has been troubling me.

What's troubled me more is a current shift in thinking, especially when it comes to the events following the death of Ethan Saylor.  I was saddened to come back from my hospital hiatus to see that not only some advocates, but even some of the major organizations are pushing towards "Down syndrome specific training" for police and first responders.

I'm not going to beat around the bush: I think this is really a misguided application of energy.  One in fact, that may undo years of hard won advances with Down syndrome advocacy.  There are a few reasons for this, some of which I'm sure haven't been considered by those who are pushing for it.

Firstly, who decides what subjects are taught or what aspects of Down syndrome will be highlighted in this training?  What does this proposed training involve?  Not too long ago, the community was rocked by a supposed "nursing" site posting an old image caricature of an infant with Down syndrome.  Many of the "conditions" presented were irrelevant, occur in the greater population at random and have no bearing on quality of life.  What will affect a person with DS life are things like heart disease, which the general population also has and in much greater numbers.  There are umpteen studies showing that positional asphyxiation is a reality.  Law enforcement and any person using restraint (including us psych folk) are well aware of this.  Every single document, every single video that I have come across in my search clearly outlines the danger of positional asphyxiation.  A person with DS is in danger of dying when restrained face down on the ground, yes.  So is everyone else.  Except in Maryland, apparently.  The reality is, these deputies knew the dangers and chose to ignore them, or quite frankly, simply didn't care.

Secondly, who is qualified to teach 'Down syndrome specific training'?  Physicians?  Lawyers?  Other law enforcement?  The National "Advocacy" Organizations?  Training also needs constant updating and re-certification.  Who designs these courses, who are the supposed experts here?   Who accredits them?  From what sources does their information come from?  If you remove the money from the equation (as people will have to be paid to come up with this course material, train the target audience, maintain the certification and audit those with the training), who really benefits from this training?  The officers, who will look at it as one more thing to endure to get their superiors off their case for one more year?  With that in mind, will these strategies really get incorporated into everyday use?

Thirdly, and most importantly is the glaringly obvious thing that people are missing:

By advocating for Down syndrome specific training, you are further marginalizing those with DS as the "other", as "different" and setting them outside the rest of society.

By stating that people with DS--a population that is as diverse as the greater population it is derived from in the first place--need "special considerations" when being talked to by a police officer, EMS, Firefighter or whoever else you want to extend such "training" to, you are predetermining.  You are profiling, you are prejudging.  People do not fit into neat little boxes.  For example, you cannot deal with every mentally ill person that you encounter identically as there is a pantheon of symptoms and an equal amount of ways that communication can break down. The differences are just as numerous and the analogy holds when you are looking at people with developmental delays.  Every single person is different;  in terms of DS, the extra chromosome can express itself in a multitude of ways.  Some will have sensory issues, most won't.  Most will have heart issues, some won't.  Making blanket statements about anyone, be they developmentally delayed, mentally ill, of a specific ethnicity, or any other difference that sets "them" apart from "us", is dangerous, marginalizing and opens the door for so much abuse. Relying on gross generalizations in times of crisis is poor preparation and serves and protects no one.

I have a great respect for all law enforcement, not just the officers that I cross paths with in my line of work.  I refuse to see police as mindless killing machines who need to be distinctly told not to do something so that all of us can stay safe. The ones in my community certainly aren't, at least not any more.  Back in the bad old days... well, I could tell you stories growing up in this region.  There is a certain level of education that is required to get in now.  There is a certain level of community involvement that is required, you have to be a very well rounded person to be considered, to represent a diverse population safely and with compassion.  That isn't something that is taught or possibly can be taught, it is recruited for.

We need real world solutions, not special training, to keep people like my son from dying at the hands of those who are sworn to serve and protect him and the rest of my family.

With that in mind, allow me to humbly offer the following:

1)  Recognize that a Sheriff is an elected official not simply the "top cop", who can quite easily become as corrupted as any other elected official.  Know your candidates and find out their track record prior to them obtaining office.  Cast your votes accordingly.

2)  Abolish "moonlighting".  The deputies who were responsible for the death of Ethan Saylor were moonlighting as mall security, a job that (if our friends in mall security will forgive me) is well below their level of training.

Let me give you an example.  As an RN, I am not allowed to work as a Personal Support Worker if I find myself strapped for cash.  There is a reason for that:  I have a certain skill set, a scope of practice and a specific license.  If I were able to take a job below that scope of practice, yet in the same field, it would blur a lot of lines.  If I was tending to an elderly client who suddenly developed symptoms that I recognized because I was an RN, I couldn't pretend it wasn't happening because "a PSW wouldn't know that".  By the same token, if I used interventions that I know from being an RN, I would not be able to legally justify/use them due to my current employment as a PSW.  The lines are too blurry, the jurisdictions too different.  I can't be one thing and pretend not to be a couple days a week to work a job with a lower skill set, if only to protect my license and my main livelihood.  You shouldn't have active paramilitary personnel working as mall security either.  When the three men were called to the scene, they were acting as mall security.  Somewhere in there, they decided they were deputies again.  Regardless, they sure became deputies again (and invoked all rights and privileges as such) once Ethan was dead.

If I need a little extra cash, I pick up overtime.  The police in my area work along the same lines.  There are also a lot of paid duty opportunities for police as well.  This is why here, you find uniformed officers at ball games, outside construction sites, doing patient watches in hospitals and at the liquor store at Christmas.  During such, they are expected to fulfill the responsibilities that their uniform dictates.  If malls and whatnot expect a certain level of security, they pay for it.  Offer the police a little respect and pay them properly to perform their duties as police officers.  They earned it. Allowing active, trained officers to take lesser skilled jobs in a related field is simply asking for trouble and opens the door for tragedy, as it did in Maryland.

3)  Recognize that compassion cannot be taught or encouraged in those that aren't receptive.  Recruit accordingly.  There are some that go into policing that are angry, have deep set prejudices and too easily cross the line.  We all know stories of this, of cops that take it too far.  Take this guy or this guy, or this guy.  But, for every horror story, I'm betting there are 10 great officers (both men and women) who actually do care about the community they serve.  You need more of them in the field, not just in front of the camera when the politicians feel it's appropriate.  It is possible to have a general sensitivity towards various cultures and groups and still be able to control a situation (and ultimately ones self).  It's been put forth by one blogger that we live an ugly world and if there was more compassion we would not need police or even soldiers as there would be no war.  I'm not talking about achieving Utopia here; sometimes force is a necessary evil.  However, I guess I'm a bit spoiled coming from Canada.  We don't have legions and legions of soldiers.  The ones we do have are respected across the globe for their compassion and known as "The World's Peacekeepers".  It is possible to be both.  The police in my community at least, certainly reflect this.

The idea of "Down syndrome specific training" is ridiculous, insulting and might very well put our advocacy efforts back decades.  You cannot train for such a diverse population, as people with Down syndrome exist in every ethnic, socioeconomic and religious background, not just white, middle class, Christian ones.   Those are the factors that dictate how a person with Down syndrome receives care, is viewed in the community, is treated in their own family and even how the person themselves view law enforcement and first responders.  It is these factors that will shape how a person with Down syndrome will react in a a given situation, not their chromosomes. The idea that my son, who will grow up respecting law enforcement--just like Ethan did--could die of  "Down syndrome" and "heart issues" at the hands of law enforcement--just like Ethan did--shakes me to the core. There are a lot of comparisons that I cannot help to make between Ethan and Wyatt; Ethan's Mom is a well known DS advocate too.  The idea that sweeping generalizations, by the medical community and by law enforcement, may very well rule my son's future life and death, makes me angry.  We cannot hope to change the public perception of people with DS to one of complete inclusion by making people with DS the "other" to the very people that are supposed to take care of them.  There is no magic list of "things that you need to know when 'dealing' with a developmentally delayed person" other than you are talking to a human being with thoughts, feelings, desires and needs.

Just like everyone else.  I cannot stress that enough it seems; that particular point cannot be lost.

[Originally appeared on Down Wit Dat]  

An open letter to Motherlode of the New York Times

We are writing as the founders and representatives of Down Syndrome Uprising (DSU). DSU is a global grassroots, volunteer activist initiative.  DSU’s mission is – in part - to: serve as a communication hub for the community of Down syndrome activists. The founders' function as individuals is to maintain a page and a blog, curate information and serve as the communications team. 

Our base of operations is a Facebook page and a blog. DSU formed in January of this year and has grown to over 1000 fellow online activists. 

On April 7th we posted a ‘call to action’ to contact the New York Times (NYT) to express concern that the NYT allowed hateful comments regarding people with Down syndrome to be posted in response to the editorial published on April 1st titled “Outlawing Abortion Won’t Help Children with Down Syndrome” by Alison Piepmeier. 

On the 'Help' page of the NYT you indicate on what basis a comment is moderated: 

“Our goal is to provide substantive commentary for a general readership. By screening submissions, we have created a space where readers can exchange intelligent and informed commentary that enhances the quality of our news and information."

"While most comments will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive, moderating decisions are subjective. We will make them as carefully and consistently as we can.” 

Given your own guidelines it seems you made a decision to not moderate a great deal of comments that if made in reference to any other group of people who are discriminated against would not be seen as “intelligent” or “informed” and would likely be seen as "abusive”. 

We can only guess at your motivation to not moderate these comments. Perhaps when a discussion about a particular group of people is wrapped in the context of the abortion debate it becomes difficult to decide what is acceptable dialogue and what is hate speech? 

Our concern is that the comments did not reflect an actual debate on abortion but a hateful rant on the politics of accepting people who are different from us to exist. If those comments were about people who were poor or gay or Jewish or people of color would the NYT have considered them beyond the pale? Would you have allowed those comments to be posted? 

If they would not have been allowed for other groups we as a society have deemed protected why is hate speech still allowed for people with Down syndrome? 

We hope this letter will serve as an incentive to explore this issue by NYT. You could be telling a story that is lacking in the public sector – insert great title here.

Respectfully,

Down Syndrome Uprising

Antidote

I don't want to write about Robert Ethan Saylor.

I don't want to write about how he cried for his mother right before he died. I don't want to write about how the people whose actions left him dead are already back at work protecting others, or selling another ticket to a movie, or looking back at that night when a life was lost while they did nothing because someone qualified was taking care of it, or because they were afraid ...of him? I don't want to write about how confused, biased, and embarrassingly void of thought, real research, and understanding the media coverage concerning his death, and his life, has been. I don't want to write about the deafening silence from those who get a salary for representing Ethan and all people with Down syndrome (never again paid by my daughter), and then, too late, filling that empty air with even emptier words. I don't want to write about agendas or people who can't come together even in death, and who bicker, or try to one-up each other in some strange game of 'Whose cause is this?', or people who look at their own child with Down syndrome and still see other, or people who don't see a problem with a police department investigating its own employees. I don't want to write about people who hide behind the anonymity of the internet to spew their venom on 'retards', unsuspecting parents, and at anyone who reads the comment section in a newspaper (you are scum and I feel sorry for you). I refuse to write just because if I don't, the Department of Justice might just think that this horror, this violation of basic human rights, this dismissal of 6 million people has blown over, because there have been some vague promises of 'training' for people, who are supposed to be protecting my daughter as an individual, on how to see her and the other 6 million exactly like her even more differently, as strangers in their own homes, as beings beyond comprehension by the simple power of common sense.

I don't want to. Ethan isn't the cause of this. He isn't to blame. Neither is his Down syndrome. The blame belongs on the shoulders of those whose actions led to Ethan suffocating to death, and on a society in which a person's life is instantly deemed to be of lesser value, less worth saving, dismissible, or to have a potentially dangerous, out-of-control component, when his assumed IQ score is below 70.

Society needs fixing. Those of you who look at Ethan or my kid and don't see a person, an equal, need fixing. Adjustment. Change. You don't get to judge my daughter, I get to judge you.

Successful communication is not an effortless task. Communication takes practice, patience, compassion, and a willingness to listen and to try to understand. Communication takes years and years to learn and even then, in any given situation, at any given time, communication might fail. Even with the best of intentions on all sides.

But what if the intention, the willingness to understand, is not there? What if, instead of seeing and listening to a person trying to communicate with you, all you see is a stereotype?

He isn't small? He isn't cute? He's not smiling either? There's no belly laugh. He's not happy. He's not contained. Where is his keeper? Why is he by himself? Who let him out? He's reacting. He won't understand anything but force. Not fit to be out in public. Those can't be words. They don't understand. They don't think. Did he just say 'mom'? Nah. Couldn't have. Retard strength. Better watch out. 

But what if you grew up having a friend who had Down syndrome? A student in your class? What if the lady who sells you your weekly lottery ticket and you regularly chat to had Down syndrome? What about a coworker, your boss? What if a kid in your daughter's soccer team had Down syndrome, in your son's ballet class, a guy in your aunt's book club, that lady who golfs with your sister-in-law? What if your favorite television show had a character with Down syndrome? How about the bartender at your favorite Friday-night watering hole? What if you had that Friday-night beer sitting by your friend who has Down syndrome, listening to his woman troubles or work stories, and telling him about this weird mole on your back, or how you think your car might not need all of those repairs the shop's quoting you for? What if we valued everyone, included everyone, and then let the chips fall where they may? What if we didn't assume anything, but looked at everyone as an individual?

What if people with Down syndrome really were included in every aspect of society? What if we all made an effort to understand, to communicate?

Simplistic? Maybe. A real choice? Yes.

Include. Interact. Accept. Embrace. All four are choices you can make. Today.

Robert 'Ethan' Saylor: Death by Down syndrome -

I was convinced before the release of the grand jury results yesterday that the officers involved would not be charged in the death of Mr. Saylor. What I had not planned on was he would be blamed for his own death. It was determined by the medical examiner that Down syndrome and obesity made Saylor more susceptible to breathing problems.

In the actual report the words are – “This individual was already compromised by his Down’s syndrome (sic) obesity, habitus and heart disease making him more susceptible to sudden death in stressful conditions which would compromise his breathing.”

The report states the officers did not hit him in the head or neck.  They did however use three sets of handcuffs to subdue Mr. Saylor. They released him from the handcuffs and turned him over “when those around him noticed he was having a medical emergency.” (It does not indicate if “those around him” included any of the individuals who restrained him.)

According to his family…”Saylor had no ongoing health problems. Also, “the family has been concerned that the investigation was handled by the same sheriff’s office that employs the deputies.”

I wrote about Mr. Saylor’s death in an earlier post We Need to Own Robert Ethan Saylorthat was later quoted in a New York Times editorial.  In that post I made mention of the fact a national Down syndrome organization stated prior to this recent grand jury finding – “These individuals may have additional anatomical characteristics which may place them at greater risk for unintentional harm.”

Robert Ethan Saylor

At that time I did not name the organization. Today I will tell you the National Down Syndrome Congress (NDSC) joined with Family Resource, Information & Education Network for Down Syndrome F.R.I.E.N.D.S. to issue that statement on February 21^st of this year. NDSC is one of the most if the not the most respected Down syndrome organization in the U.S. This is certainly the view I held. Not so much today though. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. who I was not aware of “is a voice for all individuals with Down syndrome”.

I have tremendous concerns the cause for Mr. Saylor’s death was preemptively offered and sanctioned before the conclusion of a grand jury investigation by a trusted and legitimate voice of the Down syndrome community in this country. Their initial stance was silence to Mr. Saylor’s death by being “cautiously quiet awaiting the outcome of the ongoing investigations.” Given public pressure they found “it necessary to finally break (their) silence.” Without knowing anything about the facts why did they feel it necessary to even entertain the possibility his death was related to his Down syndrome?

I am trying to think what other national advocacy organization representing any other discriminated group would portray what feels like ‘victim blaming’ as advocacy? At this point all I can ask is as a mother of a son with Down syndrome please stop speaking on behalf my of child.

The outcome of the grand jury is devastating enough but to know it was foreshadow by an organization I place my faith in to advocate for my child’s best interest is not only unacceptable it is leaving me in despair.

Robert Ethan Saylor’s death broke my heart. You took my hope.

Down syndrome, Social Stigma and Images of Exclusion

(By Kieron Smith, author of The Politics of Down Syndrome)

Mostly I think people are afraid.

Society has become obsessed with image, consumption and superficiality. Politics appears to be going the same way.

Things have improved for people with Down syndrome since it was first identified 147 years ago, but not as much as they should have. Now we have institutions without walls, where people with DS are excluded from work, integrated education, plus suffer from second class health care and screened out by public health policies.

Society is obsessed with risk, with feeling powerless – Down syndrome is presented as a risk so serious that an national screening programme is required– you get assessed for 'risk' during pregnancy, not chance. Stigma does the rest, images from institutions and from TV series that bang on about difference. The idea of Down syndrome creates a cascade of potential risks and fear of the unknown, stigma.

The danger is that we respond to this scared and superficial environment with piecemeal and superficial solutions.

Visibility of people with DS on billboards, in exhibitions, catalogues and TV ads is all well and good but if people don’t interact, without real inclusion, then these images almost emphasise their own unreality.

In the real world people with learning disability are still excluded - they don’t get to be part of the picture.

The Gulf war was referred to it as a virtual war, so stylised and selective were the images we were exposed to.

So, there is image and there is power.

The images, the oft quoted awareness that people with DS exist, might nag at a few charitable consciences but serve to change little. If anything, because of the distance in everyday life between people with DS and society – then images of difference, in isolation, could actually play to a fear of difference, the other and the unknown.

The point is to change it.

Change will come when the fear is overcome and the stigma dispelled – when people are engaged with people who have DS. Not sharing an ‘endeavour of learning’ somewhere in a different unit – but in the same class, not excluded entirely from the workplace – but working together, not screened out by default.

We need people to speak up, we need self-advocates, we need like many liberation movements before to stand up and demand an end to stigma and we need to demand inclusion at every level of society, and to have big ambitions.

Differences are not deficits – a diverse society is a richer one, at its core the message should be that people with DS are more alike than different – like most groups who have been subject to stigmatisation. But we're going to need to shout louder to get heard.

Today is World Down Syndrome Day and we are blogging about acceptance, inclusion and activism. Join our Blog Symposium!

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Natural

Let me open with the most important message that I am ever going to give to you. A message I will shout from the rooftops as long as I'm here on this earth. A message that fuels my advocacy and activism and allows for me to leave good intentions and acts of kindness that are really moments of pity or charity in the dust, fallen by the wayside with other outdated and faulty notions. A message that I believe in with every fiber of myself, and that guides my parenting, my relationships, and my being.

Disability is natural.

Down syndrome is natural.

Trisomy 21, or Down syndrome, is a frequently occurring genetic variant, highly viable with life, and something that simply, naturally occurs. Down syndrome is not the other. In a parallel life, you could have Down syndrome. In this very life, you could have very well been born with Down syndrome.

And that wouldn't make you unnatural, challenged, broken, or less than human. You would still be you.

Down syndrome does not need to be fixed or 'normalized'. It needs to be allowed to exist as something that is an acceptable and natural part of some people, our equals in everything, regardless of their perceived capabilities. Meeting milestones, or being highly functional (whatever the hell that means) is not 'winning' at Down syndrome, or at life. Living life, and having equal opportunity for the same experiences as everyone else is what life is all about.

You know, being human. Having rights and responsibilities, and being able to decide what to do with those rights, and whether to honor those responsibilities. And, facing the consequences.

On the 21st it is World Down Syndrome Day. A special day for celebration and awareness. This year there's some weirdness about wearing loud socks to raise awareness. An icebreaker for discussion? In all honesty, I don't really think either of us needs an icebreaker for awareness. We're evolving.

We need to take action.

You might have gleaned from my last post that simple awareness is no longer doing it for me. I know better now. There is a need for acceptance. There is a need for action. A need to level the playing field. To make every single classroom inclusive in spirit and in space. To remove having Down syndrome as a negative in a college or a job applicant, as is being done in the case of race, gender, and sexual orientation. A need to embrace everyone's uniqueness and individuality without there being some who are 'more different' than others. A need to stop using language - and not just the word retard(ed), but suffers from, is inflicted with, a Down syndrome patient, a risk of Trisomy 21, them - that degrades, demeans, marginalizes and dehumanizes those with intellectual disabilities. A need to focus on how exactly Down syndrome and those with Down syndrome are portrayed and represented in the media. Unfair and biased portrayals, as well as fluff pieces that utilize those with I/DDs for inspirational feel-good in the mainstream need to be publicly denounced.

We need to actively advocate for acceptance and inclusion, even if it means alienating people who are uncomfortable with having their worldview challenged.

We need active acceptance and inclusion, not just passive awareness. We need active involvement by everyone, everywhere, not just slactivism by adding partial visibility with a click, or a smile, or a token birthday invitation. We need a community where admission is not only by a chromosome count, either way.

You don't have to love someone with 47 chromosomes to understand, you just have to be human.

There MUST be an organization that barks up and makes a terrifying stink every time someone in the media, in medicine, in legislation, in the public eye, anywhere in the world, gaffes. Be it the r-word or a homicide swept under the rug. There must be an organization that ensures that there are repercussions for marginalizing acts, for drawing on stereotypes, for exclusion, for dehumanization by language. There must be anger and outrage that leads to shifts in attitude and to organized action. Instead of intentions, we need to focus on consequences, on what is, not what was intended.

We need to stop accepting crumbs, in the fear that if we don't, we might not be 'liked'. 

Why, hello there REVOLUTION. You're needed now.

People with Down syndrome are not defective. Society is defective.

Yet. This is not about legislation, or about funding, or about research. This is about attitudes. This is about human rights.

And the question of who counts as human.

Make World Down Syndrome Day a Day of Action

Thursday is World Down Syndrome Day.  It is a day of celebration and of recognition.  It is also a day of global awareness.

Honestly, I've about had it with awareness.  I'm done, finished.  Most people are aware of Down syndrome by now.  They may not know exactly what is involved and may be very prejudicial as they base their opinions on outdated and incorrect information.  But, they know it exists.  Instead of having yet another day of awareness, I'd like to make World Down Syndrome Day one of remembrance and action.

Several things have weighed on me in the last little while.  The first is a doll, made by a mother of a 13 year old girl with Down syndrome.  They are called "Dolls for Downs" [spelled incorrectly].  The idea here is that "every child wants a doll that looks like themselves." 

I don't agree and furthermore, I am uncomfortable with these dolls in principle.

Firstly, I dislike anything that has the potential to perpetuate the stereotype that all people with Down syndrome look the same.  They don't.  My son looks like the rest of my kids;  an amalgam of mine and my husband's family.  He does not look like these dolls any more than any other child with DS that I know personally.  I find the description of "pudgy features" in the video to be extremely offensive.

Additionally, like the bald barbie debate for pediatric cancer patients, I'm going to take the stance that my son does not need this doll.  He does not need another feel good, "isn't that cute!", soft focus awareness campaign (which is what this doll will surely turn into).  He needs a medical profession who gives a damn.  He needs a society that is tolerant and accepting of neurodiversity. He needs an education system that will not decide his future based on bureaucracy and preconceived notions.  He does not need a doll whose proceeds line a private pocket, like most "awareness" paraphernalia does.

While I'm on the subject, people with Down syndrome are often under-treated and marginalized by the medical community.  Don't believe me?  The Special Olympics has the largest database of people with Intellectual Disability/Developmental Delay that there is and as it turns out, most of the athletes are lacking medical treatment of some description.  According to  the Special Olympics, 70% of athletes are overweight, 35% require vision care/new glasses, 30% have severe hearing impairment and 24% have untreated dental decay, just to name a few things.

I also cannot tell you how many stories I have heard of physicians and other medical staff dismissing a mother's concerns or simply shrugging something off as "it's to be expected".  There is the assumption too, that a person with DS is somehow a lesser human being and therefore not worthy of care (that would be, presumably, better spent on a "normal" person).  We need to stop denying surgeries and life enriching treatments to people with developmental delays.  We need to stop expecting the worst and completely disregarding people when we hear "Intellectual Disability" or "Developmental Delay".  We need to stop walking in with preconceptions and make accommodations on a person to person basis. It's not that hard, really.  However, I might as well be speaking ancient Greek to most people to whom I bring this up, as outdated, paternalistic practices run deep within medicine, our education systems and in the general public. 

Instead of chalking untreated symptoms/conditions up to "the suffering of Down syndrome", we need to call this what it really is:  neglect. 

I'm also done with "inspira-porn".  We see this stuff every day, especially in the vein of promoting awareness. Cute kid pics, fun sayings.  People with DS in the news, whether attending a prom with a (gasp!) "normal" person or doing things that everyone else aspires to do/does without thinking is not news.  I've recently had to take a hard look at what I am sharing on my Down Wit Dat Facebook page.  Who cares, if a star has a friend with Down syndrome?  Why is "your prom date with DS" news worthy?  We have to stop being satisfied with the "Down syndrome folk in the paper!" mentality and look at why we think this is significant.  Why are we perpetuating this?  Instead of being continuously starved for positive portrayal of people with Down syndrome, we need to change how things are done in the first place.  We need to create a world where this is all very commonplace and and no more worthy of airtime than anything else.  We need to stop sharing things that make us feel good initially, but have little impact on the world outside of the DS community itself.  Why is it only "feel good" stories of proms and basketball games and Academy Award nominees and dolls and similar things make the paper, but actual issues do not?  Stop with the inspira-porn, stop with the fluff.  It's a negative coping mechanism at best and selling our kids down the river at worst.

Alongside run the good intentions;  he or she may in fact "mean well", but they are not doing anyone any favors.  I know you "don't mean it that way" when you drop an R-bomb, but that does not mean I have to accept or even entertain the content of your speech when you are being a bigot.  There is an old saying that applies here:  "the road to hell is paved with good intentions".  Good intentions don't further any cause and in fact only serve to hinder ours.

I am still struggling with the death of Robert Ethan Saylor (captured excellently by atypicalson's post).  In the event that you are unfamiliar with the case--as it has not received the same level of airplay as say, a fun picture, prom story or a doll--Robert went to a screening of Zero Dark Thirty and enjoyed the film so much that he wanted to stay and watch it again.  Robert was (past tense) a man with Down syndrome who refused to get out of his seat after the movie ended.  His worker had reportedly gone to get the car.  When the theater staff were unsuccessful in convincing him to leave, they called in three off duty police officers who were moonlighting as plainclothes security at the mall next door.  By all accounts, Robert was a loving man who looked up to police officers.  Instead, what he got were three, authoritative looking men demanding that he leave.  The worker returned and tried to get to Robert's side to hopfully de-escalate the situation and was denied entry.  When he refused to leave and began to swear at them,  they threw Robert to the ground, face down, and handcuffed him.

Where he died.

Robert died due to positional asphyxiation.  By all accounts, he coded on the floor right there and all three sets of linked cuffs were removed after the ambulance was called.  CPR was initiated, but he was later pronounced dead in the local hospital.  He died, this son, over a 12 dollar movie ticket.

I am tired of hearing "there is more training needed" in response to this story.  I know a lot of police officers.  They all know about positional asphyxiation, as does any psych nurse, any of the security guards that I have the honour of working with and any person who is trained to use any method of restraint.  I think officers everywhere should be outraged by this as well, as it puts them all in a bad light and perpetuates the stereotype of The Thug in Uniform.  I am sick of hearing "tragic accident" in reference to this story.

Let's call it what it really is:  homicide.

Robert Ethan Saylor was killed by ignorance, by impatience and quite possibly by arrogance.  He was killed because they only saw 'Down syndrome' and they did not want to waste any more time on him.  He was not in a state of "excited delirium", he was not delusional.  Instead of taking a little extra time, the off-duty officers took the easy way out and took Robert down.  I wonder how long it took them to notice he was in trouble.  I wonder how long it was before that knee came off the back of his neck.

The official party line of course is that "police officers don't get training to deal with Down syndrome".  That is, if you pardon the pun, a complete cop-out.  Officers get a lot of training, especially when it comes to de-escalation.  However, these three decided to go the other way in this instance and being very knowledgeable of exactly how much force they can use and get away with, they employed that method instead. 

Robert died.  Over twelve lousy bucks.

It is of little comfort, but these three may not get away with it.  After days of deliberation, Robert's death has been ruled a homicide.  After being allowed to return to regular duties for a few weeks, all three officers are now on administrative leave.  Even though they were employed privately as mall security guards at the time, they were still able to invoke their police privilege of not having to provide statements. 

I'm not hearing a lot of outrage when I come across discussion of this story and this upsets me even more.  I hear sadness and theory, not the white-hot anger it deserves.  I see my son, in a few years time, being stubborn like his mother and dying because of it.

We need outrage.

We need to change the system, to show that brutalizing and victimizing people with Down syndrome and other Intellectual Disabilities/Developmental delays is not acceptable.  People with DS are statistically at higher risk to be victims of assault and abuse.  It is completely inexcusable when this occurs at the hand of one (or two, or in this case three) who have sworn to Serve and Protect.

So this Thursday, on World Down Syndrome Day, instead of promoting awareness, I and others like me will instead be taking action.  We are asking no longer;  we are demanding.  Fairness.  Equality.  Inclusion. 

Now.

Take action.  Speak out against the violence perpetrated against those with ID/DD's including Down syndrome.  Speak out against outdated, paternalistic practices by both Medicine and Education.  Denounce stereotypes, the promotion of hatred and yes, even (and especially) the R-word. Remember Robert Ethan Saylor and all victims of violence, of discrimination and neglect.

We need action.  That's the type of awareness I want to promote this World Down Syndrome Day.  It seems a lot more important than wacky socks.

[Originally appeared on Down Wit Dat]  

Down Syndrome Uprising: A Manifesto

We are Down Syndrome Uprising, a global collaboration of Down syndrome human rights activists. Through our efforts, we will ensure the acceptance and total inclusion of those with Down syndrome.

DSU serves as a public defender for those with Down syndrome. We are a watchdog entity, dedicated to serving the public as a communication hub that educates with regard to the human rights of those living with Down syndrome.

We Believe:

That people with Down syndrome have suffered and continue to suffer from human rights violations world-wide.

People with Down syndrome should be accepted exactly as they are, and be fully included in all aspects of society and should be given the same opportunities as everyone else.

All people with Down syndrome have to be first and foremost seen as unique individuals with unique talents and challenges.

That simply by being part of humanity, people with Down syndrome have a right and a responsibility to exist in society without having to justify themselves as contributing members (any more than any other person).
 
We Expect:

Fair and balanced portrayal of Down syndrome in the media, by medical professionals and understanding by the general public.

Fair and balanced portrayal and understanding of individuals with Down syndrome everywhere, highlighting everyone's uniqueness and individuality.
 
We are creating change now:

Down Syndrome Uprising is facilitating change through creating a space for discussion. We are challenging perceptions of Down syndrome in both the mainstream media and often overlooked areas such as in medical and health related literature. We will continue to publicly denounce any source that perpetuates misinformation, stereotypes, outdated information or blatant hatred towards Down syndrome itself or individuals with Down syndrome.

DSU is a initiative that organizes activists to engage in call-to-action campaigns to assure the civil and human rights of people with Down syndrome to live with full acceptance.

Spread the Word "Day of Action" Blog Symposium

Today, 3:6:13 is a Day of Action.  Today is "Spread the Word to End the Word" Day.  If you are unfamiliar with this campaign and pledge, follow this link.

In honour of today, Down Syndrome Uprising is Spreading the word by hosting a blog symposium.  People from all over the world are encouraged to post about the R word, read what others have to say and comment.  Let's keep the dialogue going.  Let's Talk... about Respect.

Take the Pledge.  End the R-Word.

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